


Family Portraits

by Chaos_Valkyrie



Series: Agent O [12]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Bobbleheads, Bunny Ships Perryshmirtz, Coconuts, Coffee breaks, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Friendship, Heinz and Carl are Science Bros, Heinz is a little shit, Idiots in Love, Loathe at First Sight, M/M, Mischief, Movie Nights, Paintball Returns, Pranks, SO MUCH FLUFF, Shovel Talk, Slow Burn, Snuggling, Traps, UST, scent-marking, slumber party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-11 01:25:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7019806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaos_Valkyrie/pseuds/Chaos_Valkyrie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a collection of stories, showing Heinz and the other members of the family he's always wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This new set will be mostly all fluff and focus on Heinz’s friends and family… and some evolving Perryshmirtz as well. They’ll all probably be a bit shorter, as well, bc fluff.  
> Also, I'm sick right now, so this will be the only thing I post today... so I'll try to be back to my regular schedule on Weds. Thanks!

The situation was getting ridiculous.

Heinz, hyper-aware of his purring habits since Christmas, was well aware now of just how frequently he purred when he even just glanced at the silly things.

Which then always resulted in Heinz tapping the first one just because it was so adorably funny-looking.

Heinz was glad he was alone at the moment, so no one could see just how captivated he was by the little bobbing green head. He tapped the rest for the heck of it.

Lined up like ducks on his desk, five little bobble heads bobbed their heads back at him.

It had started with the platypus from Bunny (Heinz couldn’t wait till he could call her by a real name, but that wouldn’t happen until she was adopted). Bunny had painted it the same shade as Perry’s hair and left it boldly sitting in the middle of his desk. Had it not been her scent in the office, he might’ve thought it was from the man himself.

Instead, Perry had given him a little ocelot bobble head, which he had proudly shown off to Heinz after their much needed talk.

The bobble heads came up in their lunchtime conversation, and apparently that spurred Newton and Carl to contribute to the collection. Newton presented Heinz with a rabbit bobble head painted the same brown of Bunny’s coat, and Carl gave him a little gnu bobble head later in the week. 

Carl looked so sad to not have one of his own, that Heinz ordered a squirrel bobble that he then painted a tiny little pair of glasses on, the same shape as Carl’s. Carl forbade him from letting the others in on the joke, but Heinz could tell he was pleased.

Heinz looked at his little bobble family, sitting proudly on his desk, and let himself purr.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have some Bunny POV. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly enough, today is another single-post day. Why? I’m not sick anymore (yay!) and so the Universe decided to punish me further and make my water heater explode (why?!).
> 
> Well, okay, explode may be a little dramatic. More like erupt like old faithful and flood my basement. So yeah, lucky this was ready or I might not have gotten anything out. 
> 
> So, cheers, and cross your fingers that nothing else happens before next post date. Thanks!

Bunny recruit rolled her eyes as she watched the antics of quite possibly her two best friends across the clearing. The recruits were ‘taking their finals’ now, almost ready to be elevated to full-fledged agent status. So today was the return of the dreaded paint ball course.

The recruits as a whole had done much better this round. It had taken the ‘evil scientists’ much longer to track them all down and eliminate them – and not without casualties. All the eliminated were now just sitting around, waiting for the final pair of combatants to finish each other off. So yes, overall, everyone had done way better than before…

Except for Perry. He and Heinz had been so focused on outdoing each other, that neither one noticed Felicia the fox sneaking up on them until it was too late. The bright orange splatters they were covered in stood as their marks of shame for being first ones out.

Bunny smiled as Heinz giggled at something Perry said, causing Perry to smile fondly at him in return. She sighed a little. Perry was always so stoic and stone-faced normally, so to see the soft little expressions he wore around Heinz was always breathtaking. 

Newton plopped down next to her, huffing a bit as he noticed what she was looking at.

‘How long do you think it’ll take them to realize they’re madly in love with each other?’ he asked her quietly, motioning to the pair. Bunny snorted. Most of the agents and recruits already thought the ocelot and human were a couple, but those close to the pair knew better.

Her boys were brilliant, but also oblivious as hell.

‘Sometimes I just want to smoosh their faces together and get it over with,’ Bunny sighed. Newton chortled next to her.

“And we have a winner! Congratulations, Goose Recruit, for finally out-foxing Felicia!” Carl’s voice rang out of the PA system, and they all looked up in shock. The recruits started cheering wildly for the other recruit, the wolf cub in particular as the goose recruit was his favorite training partner.

Felicia pouted as she entered the clearing, two blasts of bright pink paint staining her fur, while the adolescent goose, absolutely covered in mud, proudly marched behind her.

Wolf cub grabbed up the goose and swung her around in a hug, while she squawked victoriously. Bunny smirked. She suspected these two, when they got older, just may become more than training partners, if their fondness for each other now was any indication.

She sighed, looking over at her boys. Hopefully they’d get a clue-by-four faster than these two. She didn’t plan to spend her entire agent career steeped in all this UST.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heinz can be a little shit when he wants to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In other news, it looks like its going to be single posts for a few more posting days... work is super busy right now, so until it slows back down, I'll just be putting out Agent O. Sorry!

Perry blew a noisemaker loudly, smiling as he looked around at the small group gathered in his apartment.

He and his fellow bunny recruit had graduated to full fledged agents just this morning, and now wore their black banded fedoras proudly. To celebrate, Perry had invited everyone over (everyone being Carl, Newton, Bunny, and Heinz) for a small party. Heinz offered to cook, and while Perry had been a little skeptical at first, he certainly had no regrets now.

Who knew an ocelot could cook so well? Heinz had pulled out all his best recipes, treating them all to homemade peach cobbler, a lemonade recipe that was indeed ‘killer’, and a stinky cheese that Perry would’ve stolen and eaten all by himself if Heinz hadn’t slapped his hands away.

After the group had finished nibbling and sharing some of the more hilarious training stories, Heinz fished around in his pockets and took out two small presents wrapped in bright purple paper.

‘For you two, to decorate your new cubicles with!’ he chirped and signed. Bunny tore into the paper, opening the box and pulling out a cute little bunny bobble head sporting a tiny fedora. She beamed at Heinz, who snapped a picture of her before turning to Perry.

“Aw, that’s so cute! Let’s see yours, Perry!” Carl’s voice trailed off, however, as he turned towards the human agent. Perry was staring into his box, completely red-faced and his mouth open in horror.

Meanwhile, Heinz was snapping photos of the man with his camera while he wasn’t paying attention, sporting a wide feline grin and deep purr.

Perry’s eyes narrowed as he looked up at the ocelot, narrowing further at the sight of the camera.

‘You’re gonna pay for this,’ he told the ocelot, who simply blew a noisemaker at him, the long paper tongue mocking the teal-haired man. 

Perry lunged, dropping the box as he grabbed for the ocelot, who dove backwards out of reach. Perry began chasing his best friend and nemesis around the apartment, the two jumping over furniture and bouncing off walls.

Meanwhile, Newton had retrieved Perry’s box from the floor, and now he, Carl, and Bunny stared at its contents in bemusement.

“Um, why is this platypus wearing a skirt and coconuts?” Carl asked out loud, the three turning quickly as they heard a loud thump behind them.

They turned to see Perry standing there, his face a brilliant shade of red, gaping at the three and the platypus bobble perched on Newton’s hoof. Heinz was collapsed on the floor, gasping for air and giggling madly.

When he could control himself, he fished in his pocket and tossed Carl his wallet. Carl flipped out the photo pocket, and Perry’s flush became darker, even as he churred at Heinz in rage.

‘You carry that picture in your wallet!’ he snarled as their friends started giggling across the room.

‘Everywhere I go!’ Heinz chirped, already back on his feet. Perry churred angrily again, resuming his chase of the mischievous ocelot.


	4. Chapter 4

It was right in the middle of their daily afternoon tea / coffee break when Heinz noticed Perry sporting what he privately coined the trying-to-find-his-words face. Heinz waited, purring to let Perry know he could go ahead and ask what was on his mind.

Perry understood and flashed a smile. ‘Okay, I’ve wanted to know for a while now… why did you come back?’

‘What?’ Heinz was confused. Hadn’t they already settled this?

‘After Rodney. You retired, but you came back to be my nemesis… why?’

Oh. That made more sense. Heinz ducked his head. 

‘Monogram called me in. You had just been identified as a top threat, and the Agency needed a top agent to combat you. Peter was already paired with Rodney, so Monogram thought, with all my experience, that I’d be the next best choice.’ Heinz looked up at Perry a little guiltily. ‘I agreed on the condition that, if it didn’t work out, Monogram would have to let me stay retired. No more call backs.’

‘You didn’t think we’d work out?’ Perry asked, more curious than hurt. He knew it had to have been difficult for Heinz, after Rodney’s attempted murder of the agent.

Heinz shook his head. ‘You had a long track record of not lasting more than one or two fights with a nemesis… I figured that you wouldn’t want me either.’

‘Oh…’ Perry trailed off uncertainly, and Heinz hurriedly rushed to reassure him.

‘Of course, I didn’t realize at the time that you’d be the best nemesis an agent could ever have.’

‘Really?!’ Perry asked hopefully, a smile starting to light his face.

Heinz nodded. ‘You were formidable on the record alone… and then in real life,’ Heinz shuddered. ‘I knew I was doomed once I met you…’

‘Doomed?’ Perry asked, startled.

‘In all the best ways. It was loathe at first sight.’ He told his former nemesis, hoping he’d understand.

‘It was the same for me too,’ Perry told him fondly. Heinz just grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Down in her cubicle, Bea the Bunny is repeatedly bashing her head on her keyboard, chanting... These. Two. Idiots.)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SO SO SO SORRY! My electricity is a mishish, tentative thing – if any of you live the boondocks like I do, you’ll hopefully relate – and the thunderstorm we had last night knocked out the power before I could post. So here is the chapter that was supposed to come last night… a day late but mush longer than the other chapters!
> 
> Bea’s POV once again.

“All right, little bunny, you’d better be on your best behavior tonight, or their ocelot may eat you!” Stacy warned, and Bea did her best not to roll her eyes and keep up her ‘dumb bunny’ act.

Her owner’s older sister rang the doorbell, and Bea’s delicate ears twitched as two sets of footsteps approached the door at a run. The door was flung open by a ginger haired girl, who screamed, “Stacy!” 

Stacy returned it with, “Candace!” The two girls instantly started squealing about something, causing Bea’s ears to fold down in an attempt to block the noise. She turned her attention to the other person who’d run to the door… and jolted back to realize it was Heinz, sans lab coat. He flashed her a smirk when the girls weren’t paying attention.

Stacy turned to Heinz after a moment, holding Bea out for the ocelot’s inspection. “Bea, this is Heinz. Heinz, Bea. Be nice to each other.”

Heinz and Bea shared a look, and keeping up their ‘dumb animal’ acts, delicately sniffed noses. Heinz then surprised Bea by purring and gently rubbing his cheek across her forehead. The girls both ‘awwwed’, but Bea was too stunned to notice. He’d just scent-marked her, which was not something done lightly between agents. Coming from Heinz, who was notoriously standoffish, it was a great honor.

“Come on in! The boys and Uncle Perry should be finishing up the blanket fort now!” Bea shot a glance to Heinz, who briefly nodded a confirmation. Bea snorted lightly. This should be an interesting evening.

*****

Bea stared at the room in amazement. She was pretty sure the sight before her went above and beyond the standard definition of ‘pillow fort’.

The entire room – walls and floors – were completely lined with pillows and cushions. Sheets were hung from the ceiling in a tent like fashion, but in such a way that even Perry – for it was indeed the newest Agent P – could stand comfortably. In all honesty, she was amazed that any one household could contain this many pillows and cushions and sheets.

Perry glanced over as they entered the room, briefly looking shocked, before just as quickly masking said shock. Heinz shot them both a smug look when the kids weren’t looking.

Perry clapped his hands for attention. ‘Okay kids, go get your PJs on, and then we’ll start the movie,’ he signed. As tiny footsteps thundered upstairs, both Perry and Bea turned to Heinz accusingly. 

‘You knew?’ Perry asked, referring to Bea’s family situation.

‘Of course,’ the smug ocelot replied, ‘I smelled the Hirano family scent on her right after she was adopted.’ He turned to Bea. ‘Welcome to the family.’ 

Bea ducked her head, her equivalent of a blush, smiling fondly up at Heinz. ‘Thank you, Heinz,’ she told him, referencing the scent mark.

Heinz grinned, while Perry looked between the two questioningly. Unfortunately for ‘Uncle Perry’, the kids came thundering back downstairs before he could ask anything. Under the din of kids clamoring for popcorn and juice boxes, Heinz filled Bea in on the situation.

‘Long story short, our kids’ parents are out for the night for their wedding anniversary, and Perry is babysitting the lot,’ he told her, his fond look at the kids belying his terse wording. She had heard the story, through the rumor mill, about Perry and Heinz and their pre-OWCA-relationship, but the training-instilled-stoic part of her heart melted right then and there at Heinz’s expression.

She knew most agents – not all, but most – considered their host family as a ‘part of the job’. As nothing to get attached to. And she herself, trained into that belief, had not completely understood the story of Heinz and Perry and their Epic falling out.

But now, seeing their expressions as they looked at ‘their’ kids, she began to understand. Both were emotionally stoic, in their own ways, reluctant to display affection. But with ‘their’ kids, they held nothing back. Fond smiles, gentle scent-marking, returned hugs, soft purring, they both showed the kids just how much they were adored without any need for words.

It made her look at her own ‘kids’ – Ginger, and now to a better extent, Stacy – with new eyes. 

Maybe this was less of a ‘part of the job’, and just maybe something instead to be guarded, and cherished.

She refused to believe that her two favorite emotionally-awkward people could be wrong about such a thing.

“Oh! Uncle Perry, this is Bea!” Stacy exclaimed out of the blue, scooping up the pensive bunny and presenting her to Perry. He gave her an asking look, and she gave a tiny nod in reply. He briefly ran a finger across her scalp and ear, effectively scent-marking her as well.

Heinz purred in the background.

“Aw, Heinz approves!” Phineas exclaimed. Perry mock-pouted, looking between the ocelot and bunny. Candace quickly jumped in to reassure him.

”Its okay, Uncle Perry, he doesn’t normally warm up to most people or animals this quickly,” she justified, trying to right the perceived wrongs. Perry held his hand out to Heinz, in classic human-meeting-animal-for-first-proper-time maneuver. Heinz sniffed Perry’s hand briefly, before pulling back and staring at the man with a totally uninterested face.

Perry’s face was a vast mixture of disappointment and offense, and it was only Heinz’s brief wink at Bea that kept her in check. Once the disappointed Perry turned away to fix the afore-mentioned popcorn, Heinz snuck up on the human agent and full-bodied scent-marked him across his calves, almost tripping the man in his fervor.

It took every ounce of Bea’s training to withhold the squeal this aroused. Heinz was so completely proud of himself, and Perry’s expression cycled through annoyance and affection and adoration and back so quickly that only she, used to their dynamic, could understand everything playing out in this one moment.

“See, Uncle Perry, he does like you!” Phineas exclaimed, and both Perry and Heinz looked at the boy in utter affection.

‘Mrowr,’ Heinz affirmed, curling back around and rubbing against Perry’s legs more gently.

Heinz didn’t notice Perry’s utterly besotted look as he watched the ocelot rub up against the boy next, but Bea did.

‘Oh,’ she sighed to herself, ‘my two little idiots.’

*****

It wasn’t that Megamind wasn’t a good movie – it was, it’s just the scene playing out before her was so much better than the one of the screen. Everyone, minus Bea, was piled on the cushions on the floor. She had opted for the sofa behind, as she was at a slight height disadvantage. 

Her boys had started out on opposite ends of the kids’ movie lineup – Heinz sat with the girls on the far left, Perry behind the boys on the right.

Bea sat in the middle. She watched Perry get up to get more popcorn, and return to sit a little closer to the girls. Heinz went to get some water, also shifting a little closer to the boys. Perry got up to get himself some tea, sitting a little closer on his return.

Bea knew they didn’t even realize what they were doing. It happened all the time at the Agency. As soon as the two entered each others’ orbit, they were naturally pulled towards each other. It was why so many agents thought they had to be a couple. Even in a crowd, even when they both didn’t realize the other was nearby, some instinct always drew them together. It was uncanny.

It was also going to be the death of her, she was quite sure, as Heinz inched that much closer.

*****

They were halfway through the second movie of the night – Zootopia – and the kids were noticeably getting sleepy.

Heinz had gotten up for another drink, and Perry was now conspicuously sitting right in the middle. 

When Heinz returned, he looked over at Bea, his brow furrowing a bit. Bea wanted to facepalm as he leapt on the couch next to her, snuggling down at her side. As he got reabsorbed in the movie, she looked down at Perry who was glancing back at them, betrayed.

Bea rolled her eyes, pointedly glancing at the open spot on her other side. Perry flushed a little, then slowly, so as not to alert the kids, levered himself up onto the sofa next to Heinz and Bea. Heinz started softly purring, and she was sure that this time, he really didn’t notice. She peeked up to see Perry’s soft grin, and suddenly felt like a third wheel. 

‘I’ll be right back,’ she whispered, hopping down from her place between the two. She left the room to take a drink from Heinz’s bowl, and to remind herself of all the reasons why smooshing their faces together and forcing them to kiss were a bad idea. 

Reentering the room, she paused in the doorway, taking in the sight before her. She had been gone longer than she thought – the end credits were rolling, the kids were mostly asleep or getting there. These things, however, were peripheral – the sofa was what had caught her attention. 

Her boys were both sound asleep. Perry’s legs were stretched out before him, his head lolling back on the cushion behind him. Heinz was still curled up, but was now plastered against the man’s leg, his head lying in his lap. Perry’s hand rested on the back of Heinz’s neck, and both were smiling in their sleep.

Even as she cooed inside, she took her wrist communicator and snapped several pictures. She sent one to Carl and Newton, adding the comment, 

‘I’ve had to watch these two dance around each other ALL NIGHT LONG. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE.’

*****

It was the hushed giggling that woke her the next morning. She yawned and stretched, looking around for the source… OMG that is TOO PRECIOUS.

Her little idiots had shifted in their sleep, and the giggling was coming from the girls who were quietly snapping pictures of Perry and Heinz as they slept on. 

Perry now lie fully on the sofa, head titled to the side as he snored lightly. Heinz was sprawled out on top of him, Perry’s arm trapping him firmly in place. The ocelot’s head was nuzzled into the crook of Perry’s arm, and Bea could hear him snuffle a bit in his sleep.

The other boys were still out cold, and the light outside was still faint, so it must be early. The girls were trying to contain themselves, but every now and then a faint squeal would pop out of one of them, their fingers quickly tapping as they took photos.

Bea was going to steal Stacy’s phone later and send herself copies if it was the last thing she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this was from Perry’s POV… but it was writing awkward. And Bea was always going to be there, and I suddenly thought of the whole thing from her POV… and it just flowed. So, yeah, another Bea-POV fic. You’re welcome.
> 
> In case you’re wondering where Ginger is… my head canon (that never seemed to work its way in) is that the Fireside Girls are having some kind of over-night gathering and Stacy is pet-sitting Bea. So Ginger is actually Bea’s ‘official’ owner, but Bea will start to see both girls as her kids after this…


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is shorter, again. These were all supposed to be little short, fluffy moments revolving around the Heinz and his new OWCA family, but the slumber party one kinda got away from me when I switched to Bea's POV. Anywho, enjoy!

Perry walked into Heinz's office for their daily beverage break to find Heinz standing in the middle of the room, staring quizzically at the low bookcase across from his desk. 

Before he could even open his mouth, Heinz asked, 'Do you think a small couch would fit in here.' He gestured to the bookcase. 'I could mount higher shelves and open this space for a love seat, maybe?'

Perry tilted his head. 'It could work. What brought this on?' He walked over to the beverage station, pouring and fixing Heinz's coffee while his tea finished steeping.

Heinz thanked him as he took the mug, taking a sip while he eyed the space thoughtfully.

'Over the last three weeks, our beverage break has been interrupted six times by the others. I hate to force them or us to stand around awkwardly while we're talking and stuff. I thought it might be a good time to get some more seating in here.'

Perry nodded, then grinned excitedly. 'And just think of all the traps you could trick it out with.'

'I know!' Heinz chirped. 'I first thought about another bear trap, but then I thought if I got a sleep sofa, I could periodically remove the fold-away part and put in a giant pair of arms that would grab someone and stuff them inside! Or maybe I could use a tripwire for that instead...'

'Or maybe the tripwire could dump syrup on the unsuspecting agent, then the back of the couch could open up and shoot a confetti bomb at them!' Perry exclaimed, really getting into the spirit of this.

'That would be messy... but worth it. Especially if I forced the recruit to clean it up! Maybe add a snare to the system...'

The two continued to bounce ideas back and forth, their forgotten beverages cooling in the face of their enthusiasm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Family Portraits has one more chapter, and then we'll move onto the next installment of the series. See you Sunday!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perry’s POV. Perry and Carl have a much needed conversation.

It was his day off, and Perry was trying to get his errands finished as quickly as possible so he could spend the rest of his day over at the Flynn-Fletcher’s with the kids and Heinz. He was currently in the beverage aisle of his favorite grocery, examining a new brand of tea, when a nasally voice spoke up behind him.

“Agent P?” it asked, and Perry reluctantly turned from his contemplation to face none other than Carl Karl.

‘Hello,’ he signed, wondering just what the intern wanted.

He and Carl had a tense, uneasy relationship. Throughout training, he’d always treat Perry with bare civility, something that had irked Bea to no end. And even now that Perry had achieved full-agent status, he’d often catch the intern glaring at him when Heinz wasn’t looking, as if he was just waiting for Perry to screw up again.

And that wasn’t going to happen again, not over Perry’s own dead body.

He tuned back in as Carl reached easy talking distance.

“There’s something I’ve wanted to say to you, but not at the Agency. There are too many ears there, and the gossip mill is vicious.” Perry nodded, a sense of foreboding rising. He braced himself as Carl took a deep breath…

“I was wrong, and I’m sorry.” Perry deflated a bit, head tilting in confusion.

‘What,’ he signed, and Carl sighed.

“When I first met Heinz, he didn’t have anybody. I mean, he visited Kevin regularly, but even that was barely a friendship. He hid it well, but you could see, every now and then, just how lonely he was. I tried to be there as much as I could, but I have a life outside of OWCA, between college and family and friends, so I couldn’t be around for him as much as he needed.”

“Then he met you, and was adopted by the Flynn-Fletchers, and he changed, radically. I’ve never seen him so happy as he was after you two became nemeses. He was always gushing about you or the boys or Candace… no one at the Agency has ever seen him so animated before, not even the older agents who remembered his brother Otto’s final years.”

Carl grimaced. ”I was so, so angry, after you hurt him. That day at the house, I came to get him, and I’ve never seen him that low. We got back to OWCA, and he locked himself in his office, then his lab, for ten straight days – refused to come in contact with anyone. I barely got him out in time to go see you on Christmas Eve. And even though it didn’t work out like we’d planned, he had his family back. He was happy again.”

“Except he wasn’t, and I couldn’t forgive you that, because I knew he was missing you. I don’t want to know what your plan was, applying to the Agency, but I saw him slowly come back out of his shell after you joined up. He was starting to be happy again, and I couldn’t trust that you wouldn’t crush him again, and break him for good this time.”

Perry gulped hard, and some of his own pain at that thought must have shown on his face, for Carl nodded at him, a glint of satisfaction in his eyes.

“I’ve been watching you, though, and though you hide it extremely well, I’ve finally figured out that everything that happened broke you to shreds just as much as it did him, am I right?”

Perry nodded slowly, uncomfortable under Carl’s scrutiny.

Carl snorted. “I finally trust that you’re not going to hurt him, again, because now I know that it would crush you just as much. You’re good for each other – you two resonate together like nothing I’ve ever seen outside of a rom-com.” Before Perry could parse just what he found wrong with that statement, Carl continued. “I’m not sorry for not trusting you for so long, because I couldn’t trust Heinz’s judgment of your character without seeing it for myself. But I am sorry for holding on to my anger for so long, and for taking it out on you. I was wrong.” Carl held his hand out, and Perry shook it tentatively. 

‘Thank you,’ he signed, ‘I hope we can be better friends now?’ 

Carl smiled. “I would like that. Well, I’d better get back to the Agency before Monogram notices my absence,” Carl sighed, hoisting his shopping basket over his arm and waving goodbye to the dazed agent.

Perry was just turning back to the tea when Carl spoke up again. “Oh, and Perry?” He waited for Perry to look at him before continuing. The intern’s eyes hardened, and Perry gulped.

“If you ever are stupid enough to deliberately break his heart again, I will release Kevin myself and we will hunt you down and make you regret ever being born. Understood?”

Perry nodded quickly, and Carl’s face returned to normal. “Good! See you on Monday!” he called over his shoulder.

Perry turned back to the shelves, extremely unsettled. His eyes remained unfocused as he tried to figure out just what was off about that shovel talk, something he couldn’t quite place his finger on… His eyes settled on a bright yellow package, and he grinned. Oh! Heinz’s favorite coffee was on sale! Perry smiled, grabbing a couple of bags off the shelf, doubts temporarily forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I’ve been planning Carl’s shovel talk for awhile, and felt it was best to clear the air now before the next installment. This concludes Family Portraits, so look out Wednesday for the next story!

**Author's Note:**

> For those who don’t know / remember, watch ‘Remains of the Platypus’. That explains why Carl gets a squirrel.


End file.
